Watch the video now on YouTube
This week, we’ll be kicking up our heels on Burns Night – a Scottish national celebration held every year on January 25 to mark the life of Robert Burns (1759–96), Scotland’s most famous poet. The night sees people gather for dinners where plenty of haggis eating and whisky drinking meet recitals of Burns’ famed poems (ever heard Auld Lang Syne played on New Year’s Eve? He wrote it!).
Ooni is based in Scotland – our HQ is just outside Edinburgh, where co-founder Darina Garland and lots of the team are from. So, we’re so excited to have commissioned Scottish poet Rab Wilson to create a very special story all about Ooni, written in the Scots dialect.
Ode Tae The Ooni echoes the signature style of Burns' poetry and Scotland’s age-old storytelling traditions. Don’t worry – we’ve included an option to view the video with subtitles! Make sure you're logged in to YouTube, and hit the 'subtitles/closed captions' button on the video screen below to turn them on.
Ode Tae The Ooni
by Rab Wilson
Pizza, whit a glorious food,
Prime the Ooni up wi wuid,
Mix ingredients, fresh an guid,
Frae ilka homeland,
Syne share the food o the gods, nae fib,
In sixty seconds!
Whether ye are Rastafarian,
Buddhist monk or Vegetarian,
Tae the table jist get cairryin,
This healthy treat,
Tastebuds fowks wull no be tarrying;
It can’t be beat!
Syne cavemen first discuivert fire,
This Human Race hae aa conspired,
Tae satisfy thon primal desire;
Fir food that’s tasty,
But aa the stuff they cooked wis dire!
It wisnae Pizza!
Nou we’ve the tools tae dae the joab,
Thon Promethean fire we robbed,
Intae the Ooni oven absorbed,
An tamed at last,
Nou weans aa queue wi critic snobs –
Fir food that’s fast!
Pizza, it’s the Holy Grail,
A taste that’s aff the Richter Scale,
Nutritious food baith healthy, hale,
Fir aa the faimily,
It’s guaranteed tae no gang stale,
As plates suin empty!
Dinnae be fuiled if some berate it,
Ah’m sorry gin ye’ve nevir ate it,
Close yer een ma frien an taste it,
Syne praise the Ooni oven that aced it;
Ye’ve bin convertit!
The Ooni oven, a poem in steel,
Glistens wi international appeal,
The fowk wha built it fillt wi zeal,
Nae fad or fashion,
They mak this tasty, timeless meal,
Their foodie passion!
It screams oot classic Nordic design,
Wi Klint or Henningsen’s clean, pure lines,
A spaceship built bi Guggenheim,
A modern classic,
Frae evri angle quality shines,
It luiks fantastic!
The dream o Kristian Tapaninaho
An wife Darina’s taen aff, an how!
Nae stoppin this global marvel nou,
Sales rise an flourish,
These Pizza champions taen a vow,
The warld tae nourish!
The perfect scran tae share wi friens,
Whit e’er the waither they convene,
At birthdays, Christmas , Halloween,
An Ooni’s licht,
Syne watch thaim lick their fingers clean,
An mooth’s aa dicht!
Cooks comparin notes an lauchin,
Grans an Grandpas sittin crackin,
Weans excited, playin, daffin,
Slice or twa, an let’s get scoffin,
That magic Pizza!’
Basic ingredients!? Easy! These;
Dough, tomatoes, sauce an cheese...
Then get creative! Add whit ye please!
Invent yer ain,
Delicious mix o ‘Pizza-ese’
Lavish or plain!
Try yer Pizza laced wi Haggis,
Foie Gras Pizza, rich an gorgeous,
Caviar Pizza, matchless, sumptuous,
Sairved in a meenit,
Truffle Pizza, here oor brag is…
There is nae leemit!
Or simply garnish wi Baked Beans,
An sausages, tae share wi friens,
Else, save the planet syne go ‘Green’,
The secret key tae Ooni’s genes –
Thair nae set way!
Lik snawflakes ilka Pizza’s new,
Kaleidoscopic tastes accrue,
Inventive, ingenious, tried an true,
It can’t gae wrang,
Original, fresh, an made bi you!
The short an lang!
See the passionate Pizzaiolos,
O Ooni’s Michelangelo’s
Bankers, accountants, marketing pros
Wha left flow chairts,
Abandoned the City an freely choose,
Tae follae their hairts.
No juist some hairtless ‘wealth creators’,
But, ardent foody innovators,
Bold Pizza wielding gladiators,
Wha seek perfection,
Be’t Wagu beef, or roast potatoes,
In luscious creation!
Oor dedicated Ooni team,
Wi talent that’s the global cream,
Determined tae achieve oor dream,
Syne claim that space,
Whaur Ooni undisputed gleams,
An taks first place!
An international workforce band,
Wha cam frae monies a fremmit laund,
Spain, Canada or New Zealand,
A diverse clan,
German, Dutch, Estonia, Finland,
They heeze oor brand!
Ilk problem solved wi zeal an zest,
Until they rax that goal nae rest,
Aa strivin tae mak Ooni the best,
Oor maister scheme;
The global leadin name, nae less!
Fir this dream-team!
The Wall Street Journal sing oor praises,
Ooni’s top tradin oven amazes,
GQ, Wired, The Guardian; phrases
Whiles ilk review oor legend raises,
There is ae name!
Sae rax oot fir yer oven gluves,
An share the food that’s made wi luve,
Frae recipes ilk family wove,
Fir this is truly a treasuir trove,
That’s warth the sharin!
We’ve feasted frae the Ooni’s flames,
Nou sunset’s beams begin tae wane,
This hymn in steel, an wuid, an stane,
Is just sublime;
It tells a tale o hearth an hame,
That’s auld as time!